Time to leave the village

Several years ago, the expression 'it takes a village to raise a child' became popular in the United States. It was a result of a quote from Hillary Clinton which went on to become a book. I believe much of the trouble in society, Ferguson, MO notwithstanding, is a direct result of this thought process.

Now, a family or person can't entirely go through life without help in the modern world. In urban areas specifically, one needs the physical help of grocery stores, utilities, schools and all the inter-workings of the structure that supports those entities. But that's where it needs to end.

I believe too often the village is a detriment to parenting and the family structure. It has become a place to put the blame when things go wrong. One's child will always be exposed to outside influences, but how those influences are controlled is the job of the parent. Reactions such as 'I didn't raise my child like that' doesn't hold water if you have no idea where your child is at ten o' clock at night. Those who have teenagers or even younger that are out on the streets late into the evening, isn't being a parent. Biology, has nothing to do with being a parent. It is my conviction that the parents of Michael Brown did not truly know their own son. It's one thing to shoplift; it's another thing to bully a store clerk and confront a police officer. Video evidence in the carryout points to that. Or, they didn't care or take responsibility for that.

I am not naive enough to realize ones child can, and will do things outside for their upbringing. At some point, they will be on their own and they will make choices, some good, some not so good. I'm a parent. I've been there. I also know there will be instances where a single parent has to work and can't be with their children. It's life. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to put food on the table. These are the parents that need the safety net of support.

You can't completely divorce yourself or your family from the world. But you can to a great degree control how those influences affect your children. It's time to wake up, put on your best walking shoes and leave the village. When the village is burning down, you can watch it from afar.