Twinkle twinkle, call the fire dept

Well, it's that time of year again when grown men turn into master electricians. Yep, it's time to put up the Christmas lights. We have had an abnormally warm stretch this year and the other day I thought I would venture out and give it a go.

Several years ago I decided I no longer wanted to put the lights up on the house. I have several peaks that are steep and slippery and it just wasn't fun any more. Once I decided not to do that I found I enjoyed putting up more lights but lower, and the house looked just as good.

Even though it was warmer this year it was raining all day. I dutifully slipped up into the crawl space and pulled the lights and other decorations out into the basement. I rummaged through the boxes and toted the outside lights to the garage. One by one I plugged them in to make sure they worked, and to my utter shock, nearly two-thirds had to be thrown away. It happens every year. They work when you take them down but don't when you want to put them back up.

Mini-light strings have to be one of the biggest scams sold to consumers. They take the cheapest electrical device they can make and construct it poorly then sell it to consumers who now take these twisted strands of wire that are one step away from an electrical fire and tie them all over their homes. We then subject them to wind and rain and snow and hope to hope they don't catch fire and burn the house down. Then at the end of the season we take them all down and hope they work next year which they usually don't and we have to buy them all over again.

Here's hoping you don't burn your house down this Christmas season. Joy to the world!