Sunday, April 11, 2010

Eldrick, Eldrick, Stumbling Around

When last we publicly saw Eldrick Woods he was apologizing and 'splainin' various things about his personal life.

This week The Masters golf tournament was played, a place of great success to Eldrick over the years, although not as much lately. Those who cared to speculate wondered: will his 5-month golf absence hurt him or will his legendary laser-like focus shut out all the distractions and enable him to again be the all-conquering hero?

The answer, to the mere mortals inhabiting this planet, was a bit of a mixed bag. He played well enough on Thursday to shoot a 68, his first round under 70 during his numerous first rounds at The Masters. He then proceeded to stumble around some, picking up a shot or two and just as quickly giving them back, before getting himself into position to be a threat on the leader board. Alas, it was not to be. He did manage to finish within 5 shots of the leader, but as erratic as he was he was not happy about his play, being as how he played like a mere mortal and not like his usual Superman.

And the "I need to better respect the game" statement he made (cut down on the swearing, banging clubs, etc.) needs a little fine tuning. On Saturday he mishit a shot and the microphones picked up his "Tiger Woods, you (inhale through a straw!). Gollygoshdagnabit!"

I will leave it to your fertile imaginations to fill in the real words he said.

All in all, I must say it was an impressive bit of golf he played, other than the fact that he said he is only interested in winning. Augusta National is a tough course, and the winner had his troubles, too.

Oh yeah, I forgot: Phil Mickelson won his 3rd Green Jacket today. That should have been the story.


  1. Eldrick Eldrick burning bright,
    In the forests of the night;
    What immortal hand or eye.
    Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

    With apologies to William Blake

  2. I was glad that CNN at least started off their coverage of the Masters this morning with Mickelson and not Tiger. His is a much better story anyway. I prefer triumph over tragedy to triumph over stupidity.