Eldrick, Eldrick, Stumbling Around

When last we publicly saw Eldrick Woods he was apologizing and 'splainin' various things about his personal life.

This week The Masters golf tournament was played, a place of great success to Eldrick over the years, although not as much lately. Those who cared to speculate wondered: will his 5-month golf absence hurt him or will his legendary laser-like focus shut out all the distractions and enable him to again be the all-conquering hero?

The answer, to the mere mortals inhabiting this planet, was a bit of a mixed bag. He played well enough on Thursday to shoot a 68, his first round under 70 during his numerous first rounds at The Masters. He then proceeded to stumble around some, picking up a shot or two and just as quickly giving them back, before getting himself into position to be a threat on the leader board. Alas, it was not to be. He did manage to finish within 5 shots of the leader, but as erratic as he was he was not happy about his play, being as how he played like a mere mortal and not like his usual Superman.

And the "I need to better respect the game" statement he made (cut down on the swearing, banging clubs, etc.) needs a little fine tuning. On Saturday he mishit a shot and the microphones picked up his "Tiger Woods, you (inhale through a straw!). Gollygoshdagnabit!"

I will leave it to your fertile imaginations to fill in the real words he said.

All in all, I must say it was an impressive bit of golf he played, other than the fact that he said he is only interested in winning. Augusta National is a tough course, and the winner had his troubles, too.

Oh yeah, I forgot: Phil Mickelson won his 3rd Green Jacket today. That should have been the story.