Saturday, June 6, 2009

Up, down, unlock, click...nope!

I am, by unanimous acclamation the repairman, builder and general overall tool man in my family. It is always something I have loved to do. When Beloved Father was dismantling something in the garage, I was there to hand him the proper tool. When he paneled the basement in glorious faux-wood 1970's paneling, I was there to hold the board while the electric saw sailed swiftly through the wood.

In contrast, my three brothers, Larry, Curly and Moe couldn't drive a nail with a Buick. Although they are generally three of the most intelligent men I know, they completely lack the 'tool' gene. Fortunately for Baby Sis (although an engineer herself) she married Mr. Krinkles who is also a whiz at anything mechanical. The talents of Brother 5 are still under scrutiny at the moment.

I took this love of building into school and applied it to architecture for three years before running out of money. Hence the retail career. I have always strived to learn more along the way including playing with electricity and plumbing, sometimes to My Beloved's dismay. But never-the-less, I could still build a house for you.

Even in my early years of driving I would do most of the repairs on my fine Torino by myself with advise along the way from Father and the auto-parts store clerks. I gave that up when engines became so complicated you couldn't get your hand into anything and you had to take off five pieces to get to the spark plugs. Sometimes you just have to let the pros do it. Fortunately my son is a mechanic.

So what is the point of all this, you ask? Namely, the person who invented the damned 'pack-and-play' should be shot, drawn-and-quartered then drug out to a field and beaten with a hose! I hate the thing! It doesn't work! UP, down, spin, lock, unlock and clip...aaaarrrrrrgggggg! The sides don't latch, they buckle, the ends lock but the sides don't then the sides lock and the ends don't!


Wow, I feel somehow better now.


  1. The worst phrase you can ever read is "Some assembly required."

    Even with no assembly required, directions are rarely as clear as they should be. It is even funnier when the directions are translated from Chinese into English; it is not an English with which I am familiar.

    The one and only time I attempted to help Beloved Father work on his car, he dropped the starter on the tip of my little finger and dang near tore it off.

    I carry the mental scars to this day.

  2. umm...What the heck is a pack-and-play? Sounds like a baby thing. That would explain my lack of knowledge. Tim was so surprised the first time that he changed the oil on the Expedition that it was actually very easy to do, with all the necessary access without having to remove parts...or the skin on several knuckles! Amazing!

  3. It is indeed a "baby thing".

    I actually did change the oil on one of our cars for awhile; when we got the Aerostar it became too difficult, so now I pay someone to do it.

  4. God bless all you for trying, some things are better left to the professionals.