Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Deafening quiet

The sporting public will soon have a chance to witness a rare event. Eldrick Woods is about to come out of his closet, his self-imposed exile and rejoin the sporting world. I think I'll call him Eldrick for awhile and let him earn his nickname back. At least outside of the bedroom...groowwll.

It is not however the comeback that I will be watching. It will be the concentration aspect that I find fascinating. Golf is a sport played in quiet, until the dumb*ss in the gallery shouts "it's in the hole" on a par five just after the ball leaves the tee. I have often wondered what I would rather hear, or not hear while trying to finish off a game. Your choices are, in basketball at the end of a game a player attempts a foul shot with ten thousand screaming fans yelling hate at him, or, attempting a putt for a high-dollar prize in total silence, so quiet you could hear grass grow.

I think the silence would be agonizing. I would much rather turn to the gallery and have them start yelling at me, exhorting them on to cheer and scream and yell whatever they want. I think in basketball, if they really wanted to turn the tables on a free throw the crowd should be so quiet you could hear ice melt in their cokes.

If Eldrick starts off quickly he will be just where he needs to be. If he starts off wobbly, I think it will be the concentration and quiet that will do him in and it may be a long Masters weekend. Amen corner to that.


  1. Eldrick in the bedroom...groowwll!

    Classic! Similar to the Sleep Talkin' Man!

  2. According to sports radio, this will be "must see tv", though they simply cannot contain themselves thinking about whether the high priced call girl will sneak into the Masters gallery and have something "wild" or wicked" to say. Please, just play golf - and let's see what he is really made of now that his aura of invincibility and infallibility has been scruffed up a bit!