Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Unofficially Official

In marked contrast to Robert T's thoughtful posting of yesterday concerning the heavens and the cosmos, I am delving into something a bit more local.

If perception is reality, and if there is a kernel of truth in every stereotype, should you ever decide to relocate from your current residence to another of the numerous suburbs around Columbus, please note the following guide to the Unofficially Official Slogans for many of the various communities as an aide to help you take your decision. Some of these communities have more than one UOS.

Blacklick: You need a map to find us! (OR) We're nowhere near Blacklick Woods!

Bexley: We are Old Money.

Brice: Watch your speed!

Canal Winchester: Hey! Don't forget about us down here!

Dublin: We're Dublin. You're not.

Gahanna: Gateway to New Albany!

Galloway: Home to perennially losing sports teams!

Grandview Heights: More and wealthier gays than German Village!

Grove City: Grovetucky

Groveport: Grovetucky East, with less money and more double-wides!

Hilliard: We're right next to Dublin! (OR) You can see Dublin from here!

Marble Cliff: Highest percentage of wealthy single people around!

New Albany: Les Wexner lives here. You can't afford to.

Obetz: Who thought up that name?

Pataskala: Grovetucky Farther East!

Pickerington: Where high school sports rule!

Powell: Newer money than Dublin! And less snooty!

Reynoldsburg: Birthplace of the tomato! (Seriously, that is their actual slogan.)

Riverlea: We're not part of Worthington! (yet)

Upper Arlington: We're New Money. (depending upon your point of view) Uppity Arlington (OR) Up Your Arlington

Whitehall: We used to be better! (OR) Where did everybody go?

West Jefferson: Our football team is good again!

Worthington: We're almost Upper Arlington!

Westerville: You can finally get a drink here!

In addition to the above, there are a number of other, very small communities that are considered suburbs of Columbus, but none of them are distinctive enough to merit their own slogan.


  1. Reynoldsburg...we used to live in Whitehall!

  2. Couldn't have said it better myself.